Memo from Mc Donald's Corporate Office

Good Morning Store #7696.4 Management,

We are sending this e-mail in regards to a few complaints we have received by our Customer Care Line. First of all, the sheer mass of calls within the past month is staggering. When a customer is willing to wait over 20 minutes for the "next available operator" to file a complaint, we see this as a problem.

Here are a few policy violations that came up:

- Employee appearance must meet company standards. We have let a few facial piercings slide by, but we have to draw the line at the facial tattoos that are on your two cashiers. The girl with the Last Supper tattooed on her forehead should not have even had an interview.

- All electronic devices must be kept in lockers. It is a proven fact that cellphone conversations interrupt the flow of a fast food business. Also, i-pods interfere with customer communication, especially the drive-thru cashiers.

-I would like to know why all of the Happy Meal toys keep dissapearing.

- This next incident was caught on our security camera:

- We have also placed security cameras behind the dumpster to enforce our "soon to be strict" drug policies.

-The McPlayland area will be closed off due to pending toxicology testing.

We will be stopping by at the end of the week to conduct a mandatory staff meeting. Hopefully we can settle a few of these issues.

By the way, everyone in the company is gearing up for the return of the McRib sandwich. I know your store may not be prepared for this so we will hold training sessions next week.

Simon Schuester

Regional Manager